July 9, 2017 in Uncategorized
Can we please have 5 more minutes, why was her life taken so soon? I have asked myself these questions and many more maybe a million times since June 6th 2017. That is the day that I lost my Wife, the mother of my children, and quite honestly my best friend. Back in December of 2015 when she was diagnosed with kidney cancer the doctors told us that it was very unlikely that she would go into remission and we knew this day would come, but as I have learned/screamed/cried over the past few days…..I just want 5 more minutes.
For those of you who knew Kecia, I don’t have to tell you how much of loving, caring, honest, and just overall good person she was. However, I wish there was some way to let the world know these same things. I could write books for days on how over our 15 years together she showed me how to put others before yourself and to not be upset with someone because they may be having a bad day…..you never know what another person is going through in their life. Don’t get me wrong this wasn’t always unicorns and rainbows, there were multiple times when she wanted to empty our savings accounts to help out friends and family or we needed to drive 12+ hours so she could hold someone’s hand for 15 minutes. No matter who it was or what was needed, Kecia would be the first person who would offer to help. These times were some of the worst fights of our relationships, not because she was wrong but because my reply was always “Why, do you think they would do the same for you?” Time and time again she showed me that this question was irrelevant. It was not about what someone could or would do for you, it was about what you could do ease someone’s pain or just be there to comfort them. Kecia kept this mindset even as she was fighting this battle with a disease that was tearing her body down. Even to her last days when she was asking her nurses what she could do to help them and that she was sorry they were having to take care of her.
That was Kecia though, always putting others first and never expecting it to be returned. I wish there was some way that I could just give us 5 more minutes together, just so I could tell her one more time how much I loved her. 5 More minutes, just tell her again how she was the best thing that ever happened to me. To tell her that I could not have asked for a better mother for our children, or to see her hug and kiss them for 5 more minutes. I sit here and I ask all of these questions knowing that it will never happen, but even if by some miracle we could get that time with her, Kecia would use those 5 minutes to ask what she could do for us.
I take peace in knowing that my kids had Kecia as a mother they could look up to and learn from. I am sure some would disagree but I don’t think there was a mom in this world who was more proud of her kids. I am so thankful that no matter the circumstances, no matter what kind of mood the kids were in, or what time of day/night it was Kecia was there for them. I am glad they had a mother that taught them no matter what, you can rise above your circumstances and happiness is a choice. I am glad my son had a mom that showed him how to give your all to everything that you do and to always remember to dream. I am glad my daughter had a mom that showed her how to be strong and independent and to think for herself. I am so thankful that Kecia was able to show them what love, commitment, and family is all about.
This will undoubtedly be the hardest time my family will go through and while it will never be better, time will help to ease the pain. Anyone who knows me knows that it is extremely hard for me to ask for help, but my sister-in-law has set up a memorial fund for our family to help take care of the final arrangements and the outstanding medical bills that we have accumulated over the past few years. While I understand that not everyone is in a position to help, I only ask that you take 5 minutes and read Kecia’s journey over the last couple of years and please share.